


Sincerely Me

by Book_lyfe



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, Galaxy Gals, Hospitals, I just feel like it would take a while for them to be together, I just want to date Jared, I love jared very much, I might add in myself, M/M, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, Tree Bros, although reading slow burns are hard, dear evan hansen - Freeform, don't hate me lol, like a REALLY slow burn, lol, love you guys, no hate, sorry - Freeform, treebros, zolana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2018-11-29 03:55:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11432631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Book_lyfe/pseuds/Book_lyfe
Summary: Based off a set of one shots on my Tumblr accountEvan finds out that Connor failed his suicide attempt, so Evan writes Connor letters to help him feel not alone. However, Evan signs them as sincerely me and Connor doesn't know it's Evan.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Go follow me on tumblr @save-the-cronch

I keep my head down as I walk to the school’s computer lab. I needed to quickly finish my 'self help' letter, and print it before I have to go to my therapy session with Mr. Sherman. Slowly, I push open the door to the lab and shuffle over to a computer on the right side. I silently log into the computer, finding the google chrome search logo, clicking on it, and signing onto my google drive account. I move the cursor over to my google doc containing my letter. I click on it, and a new page opens. I quickly read over the letter, and I notice that I left off with: 

_Maybe if I could just talk to her. Maybe, nothing would be different at all._

I think for a second, tapping my fingers on the table. Eventually, I type out the last part.

_I wish everything was different. I wish I was a part of something. I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. I mean, let’s face it, would anyone even notice if I just disappeared tomorrow?_

I stop typing briefly. I know this isn’t what my therapist had in mind. These letters are suppose to say the good things in life, but when there aren’t any good things, why make it up? Why not just tell the damn truth? No one would even care anyways.

_Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend, me._

Suddenly, my phone rings, and I fumble with it in my pocket. I check the caller ID and I’m relieved to see it’s my mom.

“H-hello?” I ask. I've always hated phone calls, I can't stand them. Even though this is my mom calling, I still stumble on my words.

“Evan, I’m not going to be able to bring you to your appointment. They needed extra help at the hospital and I was the only one on duty. Also right afterwards I’m going to class, there’s leftovers in the fridge for dinner.” My mother rushes her words, as if she really needs to get back to work. Which, she probably does. God I'm such a burden, she wouldn't need to work so hard if I wasn't around. I have so many problems. She has to spend to much money on my pills and therapy, I hate it.

"O-okay, yeah, I’ll ea-t that.” If I even remember.

“Did you finish your letter sweetie?" She wants me to get better, I know she does. However, I also know that she knows she'd have a better life without me.

“Yeah, I just pr-printed it n-ow.” I say, clicking on the little printer button on the top right of my screen.

“That’s fantastic sweetie. I’ve gotta go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Totally fantastic. Except for the fact that my letter basically states I want to just disappear and never come back.

I nod my head, but then I realize she probably couldn’t even see me. Stupid. “Okay, love you.”

“Love you too honey.” And with that she hangs up the phone.

I sigh once again, and then I stand up to go grab my letter. Before I can even take a step, Connor Murphy appears in front of me. Oh great. I really hope he's still not mad about this morning. He thought I laughed at him, and so he shoved me to the ground. But I didn't laugh at him, I would never laugh at him. I would never laugh at _anyone_ really. I was just nervous, and so I let out a nervous chuckle. So, I have a mental freak out moment. I still don’t know if he’s here to yell at me some more or what but I'm absolutely terrified.

“Evan? Right?” He asks, looking me up and down, then into my eyes. I shiver slightly, and nod. I didn't shiver cause _he_ was scary, he's actually really pretty. Like his sister, Zoe. Wait, not the time Evan. Shut up. I look back at him, and I noticed something. He seemed like he was trying to tell me something but then seems to think better if it and instead says, “How’d you break your arm?”

It was an easy question to answer, I had practiced the answer many times, but I still stuttered. 

“Oh, uh, I f-fell. Out of a tr-tree.” I stutter out, picking at the hem of my shirt. I hate lying, but I don't want people to see how broken I _really_ am.

“Well that’s the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. Oh my god!” He laughs out. Oh, how wonderful. Now I'm a bigger loser. 

I nod, “Yeah, uh, yeah.”

He glances at my cast, and he seems to notice no one has signed it. Shit, now I'm not just a loser, but a _friendless_ loser. 

“No one’s signed your cast.” He points out as if I didn’t already know.

“Yeah, uh, I kn-know.” Stop stuttering, damnit!

“I’ll sign it.” He offers, probably pitying me. Defiantly pitying me.

“Oh, you, you don’t have to.” What am I doing? I need my mom to think I actually talk to people. Why am I telling him no?

“Oh, you, you don’t have to.” He holds a hand, expecting a sharpie. Thank God he's persistent.

I nod my head, and I then stuff my hand into my pocket. I pull out the unused sharpie, and hand it to Connor.

He grips my hand and tugs it towards him. “Ow,” I mumble.

“Sorry,” He seems to have pushed it out. As if he’s not use to saying it. Connor quickly scrawls  out his name, filling up half of my cast with it.

“Oh, thanks.” I say, with a kind of sarcastic, sort of thankful, a dash of scared, and a bit of wanting to get the hell out of there asap tone of voice. Thankfully though, Connor doesn’t seem to notice, and smiles at me. However it’s more of a grimace. He then takes a piece of paper from his bag and lifts it up.

“Is this yours? I saw it at the printer. ‘Dear Evan Hansen,’ You're last name is Hansen, right?”

“Uh, yeah that’s mine, um, th-thanks.” I reach to take it, but he pulls back.

“Because there’s Zoe? What the hell,” He whispers this, seemingly confused. Oh God, no.

“C-connor, please give that ba-back.” Oh great, I'm _so_ confident.

“You did this on purpose!” He's yelling now, maybe I can calm him down?

“What?” Very good Evan, ask a fucking question. This is super helpful.

“Yeah, you saw I was the only other person in here so you printed this wanting me to see it.” He's totally misunderstanding the situation. This is not good.

“No, I-”

“You were hoping I’d freak out right? So you can tell everyone what a fucking freak I am?”

“No, please-”

“Well FUCK YOU!” He pushes past me and runs out of the computer lab. All I can do is stare after him as he runs, forgetting that he still has my letter.

* * *

 

“You what?” Jared asks from the other side of the phone, clearly enjoying this.

“I-I printed my letter out at school and Co-connor saw it. He thought I wanted t-to get him ma-mad! He saw that I me-mentioned Zoe, and-”

“Wait, so he read some crazy sex letter you wrote about his sister? That’s messed up.” I really hopes he stops laughing soon.

“It wasn’t a sex le-letter Jared! It’s for my thera-therapist.” I'm trying to explain this as best I can, but Jared doesn't like to listen.

“You write sex letters to your therapist? Thats kinky.”

“JARED!”

“Whatever man, but why are you telling me this?” He's probably laying upside down on his bed, playing video games. He's defiantly not paying attention to this. I mean why would he? I'm just his dumb family friend.

“Because you’re my cl-only family fr-friend.” That's all we'll ever be.

“Yeah, okay, I gotta go dude. Good luck with that sex letter!”

“IT’S NOT A-” Before I can finish, Jared hangs up the phone. I groan, tossing it onto my bed. 

How the hell am I suppose to convince Connor Murphy that that letter was meant to cause no harm.

Also, how am I suppose to get it back from him before he tells the whole school. And, once the school knows how will I live though the taunts? No, wait, forget the jokes. Connor is probably gonna kill me.

God Damn it.


	2. Chapter Two

I've decided I'm making this one huge ass one shot so I'm gonna end this and write the whole thing and It'll be out when I'm done. Probably in a few months as I have an AP class and two honors classes and I'm in a science class and a math class thats above my grade level. Plus my clubs and shit. But yeah, follow my tumblrs (fantastic-fans and save-the-cronch) to be notified when the whole thing is posted. Sorry guys! Bye!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my tumblr @save-the-cronch


	3. Fyi

I posted the one shot jsuk

**Author's Note:**

> jsuk I hate my writing but I love doing it and I hope you love reading it.


End file.
